Sometimes by day, but far more often at night the Monster will rise to see what mayhem can be done. Never knowing what to expect all I can do is brace and wait. It is only a matter of time until he is with us again and the problems begin. Who he hurts and how badly is always a concern. I lose people all the time. They are not lost to history, only to me. All I can do is watch for the outcome and pick up the shards of what was. The new situation never has the options the old one did. I can never go back to what was, I can only wait for the wounds to scab over, adding to my scars. Feelings of hopelessness and loss gather as a lump in the back of my throat and my eyes tear. Regrets pile like cordwood walling me off from what I held dear. Now, I realize my Black Dog has returned.